Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
