she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
