Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
