I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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