Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
