True but thats because hes a fetus.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
