And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
