She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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