I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
