I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
