...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
