He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
