No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
