In the future we'll all be gay
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
