So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
