for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
