How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
