you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
