uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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