fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
