The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
