You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
