then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
