You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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