Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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