you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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