She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
