the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
