It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
