Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
