Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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