yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
