You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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