I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
