i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
