so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
