you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
