i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
