I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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