Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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