worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
