Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
