Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
