I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
