She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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