The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
