your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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