why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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