I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
