She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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