i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
