so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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