Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
