Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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