I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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