Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
