For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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