Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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