i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
