I just pynch a tree in the face
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
