he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
