I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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