Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
